Walking with liquids is unnecessarily difficult

It seems to me that we never learn, or at least I don't. Every time I make myself coffee, I always have a ridiculously tough time walking from the machine to wherever I'm sitting. I can never properly balance the cup and walk at a decent pace without the coffee splashing out or teetering on the edge. All my attempts to try and turn my arm into a type of suspension system have failed miserably. Of course, there's the added problem that I always manage to overfill the cup as I don't anticipate how much volume the milk or cream will take. I end up looking like a 90 year old geezer as I attempt to walk across the room with my full attention focused on the contents of the cup.

Tea is another issue. For some reason, I often use a small saucer underneath my tea cup. I generally attempt to walk while only grasping the saucer, which ends up producing a ridiculous chattering noise with the cup jittering all over the place. Even worse, I often attempt to carry two cups when I can't even handle one. I admire waiters as I could never be one. I'm generally quite agile and yet I can't seem to find the dexterity required for this.

Of course, many people must have similar issues with liquids. We have not, however, figured out an effective way of dealing with this small problem. When you buy coffee at a coffee shop, they give you a lid of some sort. Yet, at home, we just end up looking like morons. This is why I figure in five years time, I will have invented a type of coffee stroller which will fix these issues. For those who find the weight of a coffee cup too hefty, a powered version could even be made available. Somehow it reminds me of those old fuckers who really want to play golf, but either decide to take an electric cart all the time so they can smoke oversized cigars as they drive around like they own the place, or they decide to walk it for the "exercise", and yet they buy these ridiculous powered pushcarts so these dipshits are remote controlling the thing from behind, as they smoke their oversized cigars, of course. Many middle class Sunday golfers have no doubt been impressed and envious of such devices.


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