Group Work

Oohhhhhhh how I hate group work. It's alright when you're with some friends or something, but it can be complete hell when you're randomly assigned with people you don't know. Case in point, I have this oral presentation to do in Political Communication and was assigned into a group. This is the course in which there is the highest concentration of hotties. If most girls in pure and applied sciences are ethnic, hairy, and ugly, then most girls in political science have penises. The difference here is that it's actually a communications course so you get all these artsy-types who look really good.

Of course, the prospects were great, but I end up in the worst possible group. Here is a breakdown of my three group members.

1. A 50-something franco-ontarien who works for Health Canada. She has these strange pauses when you ask her a question, as if she's taking a long time to compute a possible answer. She seems quite eager to do the work and research involved. However, she has absolutely no idea how to coordinate work or what is being asked of her. Her position at Health Canada, I have found out from her e-mail signature, is Chief, which is a level 10 position earning above $80,000, if I'm not mistaken. I don't know who the fuck is promiting this bitch, but she's absolutely useless and cannot properly communicate. I talk down to her and I'm about 30 years younger. She speaks the typical franco-ontarien french and her English has a slightly annoying accent.

2. Some really weird 40-ish woman who doesn't speak English or French (so it seems), yet she is somehow trying to get a university degree as a mature student. Speaks with an undecypherable accent, does not understand what is asked of her, and seemingly has never worked in a group in her life. Completely worthless douchebag who will surely fuck up the little that is demanded of her in the group.

3. One guy who is my age but looks like a deformed fetus. He speaks French pretty well but English only so-so. I am ashamed to stand next to this guy because it looks like I hang out with retards or something. I may as well become best friends with that fat fuck in my other class who has a stump (plus a thumb...) for an arm. This guy seems like a decent worker and slightly more accustomed to working in a group, but his lack of social skills is really horrible.

We had a group meeting today. I had prepared about 5 minutes for the whole thing and had the best insight out of the bunch. The others argued for a whole hour about ridiculous details which were not being understood. The good news is that, while standing next to this group of quads, I will surely look absolutely amazing and get a great grade, no matter what I say. I figure I will also look extremely attractive next to these people. Group work sucks.


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