This one's for laughs

I despise watching the same movie over and over again. I'm pretty sure I've written about my resentement of dancing films before on this blog, but the latest piece of shit Stomp the yard every once of hate in me. I remember watching the trailer on TV realizing that virtually no story is actually given out during the course of this teenage cash-in, but also elements of other cultures were stolen simply to make my blood boil!

Let's see...what makes teenagers go to a movie:
- Black people...gotta have black people.
- Hip-Hope score...hand in hand with the black people.
- Phrases that don't mean anything: "Yoh, what are they doin'?" "Yoh shizna! Where you from? They stompin' da mutha fuckin yard y'all!"
- Asian culture tie-ins: Let's all dance like they practice martial arts in China.
- Underdog main character.
- Very little plot.

I burst out laughing when I read IGN's review. The first two paragraphs went on praising the film for not being like it's predecessors. The third paragraph then explained the story. From the first phrase of this paragraph "... [It] stars Columbus Short as DJ, a hotshot dancer who is shipped off to college after his older brother, Duron, is killed in a dancefloor hustle gone wrong." I had to stop, laugh for a good ten minutes and then write this. Still, as I write this, the words "dancefloor hustle gone wrong" can't help but hurt my ribs from all the laughter. Not only is this the plot of two to three films that were released in the past year, but it makes no effort to differ itself from it.

Like Eric (Portelance) mentionned, sports film follow in the same line. With very little differing plots, they too become some of the worst offerings around. What hurts my brain the most is the fact that most sports film are passed off as 'based on a true story'. Wich, by today's standard, should be the tag on every film out there.

If only they would release my documentary Stomp on your skull. Can't wait for the MPAA to get back to me.


At 21/1/07 10:49 AM, Blogger The Atheist Front said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...Now that was horrendously funny. Dance floor hustle gone wrong. You stepped on mah airforce ones nehgga! Imma kill you!!!!

At 21/1/07 8:44 PM, Blogger Portelance said...

"is killed in a dancefloor hustle gone wrong"

I don't even what to know what that means. My imagination is running amok already...


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