You know, the concept of an umbrella seems quite smart and realistic. However, in practice, an unbrella is anything but that. Generally, they seem to protect you for a good amount of time, but they are ultimately a failed device. First of all, it appears we failed to take wind into account when designing these things. When it rains, it's also damn windy. Wind and umbrellas are not a winning combination. You end up fighting the damn thing more than anything, and there's the ever-feared umbrella reveral where a gust will swoop under and twist it inside out, making you look like a complete moron as you try to fix it and calmly recover.

Also, umbrellas appear to be designed to break. It seems like one out of two times I use an umbrella there is a problem of it with some kind. Either it won't open properly, one of the metal rods is busted, etc.

There is also the problem of dumb umbrella users. I don't know how many times in the past few weeks I've seen (mostly women, for some reason), walking along a sidewalk with the umbrella pointing forward in an attempt to push through the wind. Of course, they can't see where the fuck they're going, and generally I have to dodge these assholes in order to not get impaled.

It seems that the question of storage was never addressed, either. When I get to my destination (which is not home, most of the time), what the fuck am I to do with a wet umbrella? I had the misfortune of putting it in my school bag this week, thinking it wasn't that wet. Half my books in there ended up getting soaked. It also seems far too inconvenient to try and shake the thing off when you get into dry territory. It's just an extra thing to carry around and far too much of an inconvenience.

Finally, walking for more than 15 minutes with an umbrella is really fucking annoying. I generally keep trying to switch arms in order to give the other one a break from trying to hold the damn thing down because of the wind. If this is the best and most efficient solution we have against rain, we're really a failed society.


At 18/10/05 10:53 PM, Blogger Chartier said...

Also, I find it fucking ridiculous how they don't fit through any doorframes. You end up having this awkward moment closing it, of course you get wet at the time. I find they break the flow of my day too. Drying off seems to take me back less.

At 19/10/05 1:10 PM, Blogger Portelance said...

I think I'm in love with rain days all of a sudden. Just walking around and seeing everyone strugge with umbrellas is hilarious. My umbrella has a broken prong-thing today so it was all crooked, the handle doesn't feel solid, and some guy I noticed had a prong sticking out on one side and some of the nylon flapping around in the wind. Good stuff. :D


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